“10 to 6 Monday thru Friday”

“Somebody beat you to it. All rentals are on a first come first served basis and must be prepaid in full before the rental.”

“Yes. To reserve gear you just come in and prepay. Don’t wait until the last minute. We have a large inventory but we do run out on occasion.”

“Not unless you pay for the extra time.”

“In a word, no. Better go ahead and have a party to celebrate the close call because we don’t give refunds for rentals. And don’t forget to give our crew a call. They love a good party.”

“No. We are not open on Sundays. You will have to pick it up on Friday but since we don’t charge for Friday or Sunday rentals you will still only be charged for one day if you bring it back on Monday.”

“Sorry, but no. We rent things and we sell things but we don’t rent to own.”

“That’s great. We give back to our local community too. Can I borrow your car?”

“Are the prices for milk at the grocery store or gas station negotiable? Come on were already half of what anybody else is. Give us a break. We have to pay for the gear somehow.”

“This may sound like a cop-out but ‘it depends.” Just call us and we will help you figure it out.”

“YES! Our production department offers full concert production services. We have a very large inventory. With our partner companies can handle anything on any scale. We can even sell you the talent for the show. JUST CALL!”

“Our rent inventory is quite large and it includes many things not in the list and we are always adding new gear so call.”

“Sorry. I do feel your pain. You rightfully expect your rental reservation to be available as promised and in exchange we get paid whether you use the gear or not.”

“Unfortunately malfunctions do occasionally occur even with the most expensive, well maintained-gear. When you pick up your order get our current cell phone number from us. Try not to wait until the last second to set everything up. CALL US IMMEDIATELY but try not to panic. Fortunately most problems that occur are operator error and can be rectified over the phone. Believe it or not we do care that everything goes well for you and we will do everything possible to bring you a replacement if necessary although that is not always possible. We will gladly refund you the rental rate on the misbehaving gear or issue you a credit - your choice.”

“Do you ever watch CSI? We can tell what happened by the evidence. We can tell that when you hooked up the microphone to the amplifier output and when you pushed the system way beyond it’s limits.

We always assume you know what you are doing unless you ask for help but even then we can’t make you a pro in the few minutes it takes to pick up the gear. Please think ahead. If you don’t know your mic cable from your EQ then you should let us find you a good tech to help with your show. What it boils down too is you break it you pay to get it fixed our replaced and that includes exterior damage when it slid off the table and took a dive. We expect it back in the same condition we gave to you in.”

“Don’t worry. We are not trying to steal your gig. We do not allow cross rental of our gear and if you are going to use it in more than one location that’s fine as long as we know were is is located at all times. And besides, don’t you like to know where you stuff is too?”

“You are responsible for paying for the rental equipment until it is returned even if it just sat locked up at you mom’s house. If you can’t make your rental return deadline CALL US IMMEDIATELY. We’ll do what we can to help you get it back to keep your costs down. You could very well be messing up someone else’s reservation and renting gear is how we make a living.”